Duterte to hunt down kids on Santa’s naughty list

2016 presidential candidate Rodrigo Duterte confirmed his plans yesterday to crack down on underaged criminals, who he says pose a “significant” threat to law and order.

Duterte is the mayor of Davao city and a presidential candidate for the 2016 elections. Davao, which has been voted the safest city in the country by its citizens in a no-way biased survey, is notorious for its “feeling” of safety and the “idea” of justice.

Duterte first made the comments about cracking down on underage crime after one of his supporters asked him how he plans on bringing his brand of vigilante justice to Manila if elected. “Well, it’s obvious what I’m going to do: I’m going to shoot the bad guys.”

When asked what his definition of a bad guy is, he says “people who commit crimes.” When asked how he would separate the good from the bad, he says “By shooting only the ones who’ve done crimes, you stupid motherfucker.”

One reporter from the Philippine Star asked “What about children? Do you consider letting people go if they’re minors?” Duterte just laughed and said no, saying that all offenders, young or not, must be treated equally in the eyes of the not-law.

He then said that “I know of one member of the Catholic Church that has compiled a list of the country’s young offenders, a list he updates every year. I think that means that not only is it possible to know who is guilty or who is innocent without a trial, but if I can get my hands on this list, that means I can bring discipline and justice all over the country without fail.”


"The young people of Davao all want to be part of my #squad"
“The young people of Davao all want to be part of my #squad”

“We have reason to believe that at least half of this nation’s youth has committed a crime serious enough to be considered “naughty”, yet they have gotten away with it. Think of the effect that has on our national crime rate, and how unsafe it would make people feel!” He blames the lack of action on youth offenders is because of the country’s ineffective judicial system, a system he aims to revamp if elected.

“Now the only lawyers you’ll need are Smith and Wesson.”


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