Grace Poe births three new dragons into the world, finds out she’s a Targaryen


Editor's Note - "This photoshop sucks, can you get us a new one?" Photo Department - "Too late, already posted."
Editor’s Note – “This photoshop sucks, can you get us a new one?”
Photo Department – “Too late, already posted.”

“Tandaain mo, anak, na nasa dugo mo ang dugo ng Dragon…. Apoy at dugo, ‘yan lang ang maibibigay ko sa’yo.”

At 16-years old, Jenearys (pronounced Jenny) Targaryen was a very young mother. “Too young,” said the doctors, “this birth will be a dangerous one.” And like most prophecies concerning House Targaryen, it would ultimately prove true. Jenearys lost consciousness just as her daughter, Elaena Targaryen (pronounced Elaine), broke free and entered the world. Jenearys died two hours later, never seeing her daughter.

She left behind a short letter for her daughter, as well as all that remained of her family’s fortune: three dragon eggs. Jenearys left behind very specific instructions for the care of her daughter in case she didn’t make it, but before her friends were able to whisk Elaena away to safety, agents under the employ of Former President Cory Aquino had them all arrested for treason. None of them would betray the location of the last Targaryen, and so they too disappeared, never to be seen again.

We met with Elaena Targaryen, now a woman grown, five days after she came out to the public as a Targaryen. Now all grown up and known by a different name, she spent three long years searching for her past, and the answers to the questions of where she came from. All she wanted was closure, but she had found so much more. What she found was a long tale of intrigue, a blood pedigree of the highest degree, and the awakening of an unspeakable power, the likes of which has never been seen for thousands of years.

Elaena Targaryen now goes by Grace Poe, but is in the process of legally changing her name to Grace Poe Targaryen. Truth be told, she never even imagined that she would be a Targaryen. She was just a humble adopted daughter of a Filipino icon and an incumbent senator, but now she was royalty. She tells us that when she realized who she was, she nearly fainted. “It all just seemed like a dream, or a scene from a really bad movie, like a forced plot twist or joke, you know?”

Indeed, when Grace first set out to uncover her past, she spent countless months following every lead and questioning everyone who spent event a second with her when she was a baby. But they were all dead ends. The lead that would eventually unlock her past, was ironically, from her herself. While campaigning for Senator in 2012, she was going through her attic for incriminating photos and evidence to burn. She found a dream diary she kept as a child, which was where she recorded all the nightmares and bad dreams that plagued her in earlier years. One entry stood out.

“I was alone, in a forest. It was in um, I think, Mt. Makiling. I had never been there before, but I just knew it was, you know? Then there was this woman, she looked like me, only older. She was crying. I walked slowly towards her, but before I could get to her, she jumped into a pond and vanished. Then, I found myself in my classroom, naked, and with all my teeth pulled out. It was horrible, yet so vivid. Oddly enough, I can sort of remember waking up and my entire bedroom was on fire. I didn’t think much of it until then.”

Taking the dream to be a sign of something, she ventured deep into Mt. Makiling until she found the exact spot where the lady was. “It was so unreal, to see it all exactly like I pictured it. Well, minus the classroom scene of course.” Finding an abandoned shack just a few meters from the dream spot, she walked inside because that’s how heroic journeys are supposed to go. There was a crazed, psychopathic hermit inside the house, but since Grace is a Philippine Senator, she always has well-trained guards flanking her, as well as a license to kill.

After gunning the man down in his own home, they found a note on his person. It was written instructions scribbled on 48 year old paper, to safeguard the last known relics of the Targaryens, the last Governor-Generals of the Philippines, who looted and pillaged all that the country had with the power of their dragons.

They also found a safe, a box of tissues, hand lotion, as well as a picture of Jenearys Targaryen with a coded message on the back. “A true Targaryen would know how to open the safe.”

Grace had her guards shoot the lock repeatedly until it opened.

“That safe contained everything I needed to know. When I took out those three dragon eggs and my mother’s letter, it just lit a spark inside of me. Well, that, and the safe was trapped and lit the entire shack on fire.

She read her mother’s last words as the fire engulfed her and her bodyguards. With the salt of her tears, the smoke of the fire, and the blood of three dead men, Grace unwittingly released the three dragon entombed in the eggs she carried. After the firefighters were able to contain the deadly forest fire that engulfed half the mountain, they were shocked to see a naked, ash-covered Senator in the very middle of it all, clothed only by the three lizards she refers to as her “children.”

Artist's rendering
Artist’s rendering

The Senator is still naked, even as we spoke to her, and still only clothed by the three dragons. A week after her journey, she is now a Presidential candidate, as well as the trailblazer of the latest Lizardcore fashion trend. Some critics say that the sudden “discovery” of her royal roots is unbelievably close to her announcement of candidacy, and that she’s either lying, or taking advantage of her inheritance. Others say that as a relic of the Philippine’s imperial past, her glorification of her heritage is insulting and unFilipino.

Those critics are all dead now.


Brushing their ashes aside, the Senator now feels that knowing her background has made her know herself more. This makes her a better candidate, she says, as she is the best of two people, Elaena Targaryen, and Grace Poe. Royalty and self-made politician, she thinks that she considers that her luck and what she has made of herself shows how capable she is.

And if that doesn’t convince you, she still has three more reasons to get your vote.




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