ISIS or Drugs? Chem grad divided between working for passion or money

Even after six years of studying, nothing he has experienced so far even comes close to the dilemma Mikey now faces. The newly-graduated Chemistry major built a reputation for himself as a Chemistry wunderkind. While only 23 years old, Mikey Ortega is soon expected to receive his PhD. These facts alone have already made him a target for many companies and universities, all of whom are competing to add another prospective genius on their roster.


But so far, it looks like he’ll end up as a different kind of target, considering that he’s narrowed down the list to two choices: ISIS or Drug Manufacturing giant, The Cortez Cartel.


Mikey is considered by many of his peers as “Chemistry’s bad boy.” He’s been involved in so many college pranks that he’s the first suspect in almost any case of vandalism or hooliganism that occurs in the school. He’s the mind behind the beheading of several statues around the school, the distribution of “marijuana” blunts that were really Oregano laced with Ecstasy, and detonating of several homemade explosives all around the university, an incident which injured a dozen people.

We’re not experts here, but we think that those goggles might not be enough to protect him from accidental explosions

How he got from petty trickster to full-on felonies, is anybody’s guess, but according to Mikey himself, it was always what he wanted to do with life. “My parents always stuck to one side of the law. My father was a police officer, my mother is a nurse, and they have never broken a law in their lives. Sure, they may have abused loopholes, but they’re so complacent and conformist that it pushed me to be their exact opposite. At least, I guess, that’s what the Psych majors told me.”


Still, while Mikey is looking for a career in crime, he explains that the choice of who to work for is even tougher. “I have to choose between money and passion right now. The Cortez cartel has pretty much guaranteed me a good job after postgrad. I’ll be making six figures a year, and I’ll also be getting a cut from any product sold in my territory. That’s really tempting, because student loans are a bitch, and I’ve got to contend with the high Quezon city cost of living.”


“On the other hand, I don’t think I’ll be happy working for the Mexicans. It’s not that I’m racist, I just don’t trust them, you know? I’m pretty good at making drugs, I guess, but I don’t want to sell my soul to big business with a desk job. I want something that changes the world, and that’s why my heart’s really set to volunteering for ISIS. Call me naive, but I like how ISIS is standing for its traditional, Islamic radical values in such a secular, liberalized world, and I think it’s admirable how they remain steadfast in the face of American Imperialism. “

"Their benefits aren't great, but I heard they play "Fight Song" 24/7 in their offices, and I love that song.
“Their benefits aren’t great, but I heard that they play “Fight Song” 24/7 in their offices, and I love that song.

While jihadists earn very little, Mikey considers ISIS to be his calling, keeping the dream alive is hard in the real world. “My parents keep telling me to do this, or take that. They’ve got a point, and they’ve  really helped me narrow down the options, but this is a decision I have to make on my own. If I join ISIS, I’ll have to struggle with making ends meet and being hunted down by the government, but I can take refuge in the fact that I’m being who I am, and I’m doing what I think is right. College taught me who I am, but my career will define who I’ll become.”



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