Public worried that E-Jeeps will not be annoying, congesting, or disruptive

The COMET is promised by developers to be just as annoying as its gas-guzzling cousins
The COMET is promised by developers to be just as annoying as its gas-guzzling cousins

 

QUEZON – Following the announcement of the E-Jeep’s fares and route, the E-jeep Union has reassured the public that they will do their best to give all of its passengers an authentic Jeep experience.

 

The COMET (City Optimized Managed Electric Transport) is touted as an innovative electric-powered vehicle that hopes to soon replace its conventional competition with the power of praying really hard and wishing on a star. Recently approved by the government, the Jeep will be traveling through Ateneo, UP, and probably some other places. But the public, and especially its target demographic of commuters-who-are-tired-of-hearing-sheltered-college-students-say-“Ew Jeeps are so, like, kaddiirrrriiiiii,” are concerned that the new jeeps will not provide the authentic commuter experience that we have all grown complacently apathetic to, and that has proven to be an effective repellent of annoying college students.

Some examples of comments include –

"It's like, mahirap din sa Taxi."
“It’s like, mahirap din sa Taxi.”

 

"Ang #tunaynadyip may trashcan gawa sa box ng skyflakes o ng bote ng Pepsi. "
“Ang #tunaynadyip may trashcan gawa sa box ng skyflakes o ng bote ng Pepsi. “
"Oo nga pala, puntang UP pala yung Jeep. Fuck."
“Oo nga pala, puntang UP pala yung Jeep. Fuck.”

 

In response to comments on social media, The head of the Electric Jeep Driver’s Union (EJDU) Eric Mananala had this to say “The COMET will be just as annoying and disruptive as regular Jeeps, that’s a promise! We have modified our fleet to remain just as broken down and dangerous as all other PUJs.” He says that all COMETs have been modified to belch cigarette smoke, and each unit has been “broken in” by the sweatiest people they could find. Jeepney drivers were also trained to effectively hold up traffic, with all of them being certified by the LTFRB as Swerving and Speeding experts.

 

As of today, there has still been no reported incidents of a crime occurring on an E-Jeep, but the EJDU still remains optimistic, saying that “Takot lang ang mga holdaper at snatcher… hindi sila sanay sa bago. Kaya pa namin itaas yung crimerate, hindi pa tapos yung Enero.”

 

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