Filipino wins Syria’s Next Top Jihadi competition

Another Filipino brought pride to our nation after beating terrorists and rebel scum from all over the world and winning first place in Syria’s Next Top Jihadi competition. Yusuf Bin Jahari,  born Arrvyn Del Bonifacio Santos, won the top spot after beating Mr. Jihadi America Mohammad Al-Hamas with his rendition of the song Let it Go, a song which, unlike him, refuses to die.

 

 

Yusuf's #ISISelfie
Yusuf’s #ISISelfie

Yusuf stood out from the very first event, the bomb making competition, where he used the skills he learned as a Chemistry student at DLSU. He fumbled a bit at the swimsuit competition, where he nearly got booted due to his war scars and curvy physique, but his pride and self-confidence won the judges over. However, the part where he truly shined was in the question and answer portion, where he gave a rousing speech in front of a cheap, two dollar webcam about the infidel-ness of GMOs.

 

Yusuf Bin Jahari will not be allowed back to the Philippines, but CIA intelligence reports that he might have already returned to the country.

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