MMDA announces new The Purge-style coding scheme

“I’m really excited about this idea,” said Nobert De Castro, intern-turned-MMDA-Chairman after Atty. Francis Tolentino’s frustrated resignation, “I call it ‘Purge Coding’. It works by repealing all traffic laws for one day and culling the amount of cars on the road. Less cars, less traffic!”

 

Speaking to a crowd of reporters after being left the only employee who still gave a damn within the MMDA, former intern and now MMDA chair Nobert De Castro has a new idea for improving traffic in the metro.

 

“You see, my plan is simple, we have way too many cars and drivers on the road. We need to lessen that, but the only way to do that is by reducing the amount of driveable cars and/or capable drivers on the road. My plan is to repeal all the laws of the road for one day and to let people just do their thing.”

“Face paint will not be required, but is encouraged.”

 

“People can drive through red lights, stop in the middle of the road, run over pedestrians, you know, anything. You don’t even have to be in your car. If it suits you, you can exit your vehicle and release your rage by shooting up drivers who’re going too slow.”

 

“ We predict that by the end of the day, there will be 20% less vehicles on the road, more than enough to solve our current traffic crisis.”

 

“Of course, we’ll be doing a small trial run in Katipunan first, just to work out the kinks.” He then went on to count the merits of the innovative program, such as its cheapness and simplicity, among others. “I can finally give our MMDA constables some much needed rest. They’ve been worn down from days of standing there in the middle of the street, taking abuse from angry drivers and such. I think they’ll enjoy this project the most. People will have a renewed respect for the rule of law after we roll this plan out.”

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41 thoughts on “MMDA announces new The Purge-style coding scheme

    1. I don’t think this is funny at all. The guy had an idea and kudos to him for sharing that. Instead of discouraging other people who have ideas, support them and help them improve their ideas. Oh and by the way there is no such thing as LOLed. Cheers!

      1. Hey dimwit its called personal Jargon idiot ever study english? loled she made it to her own verb moron personal Jargon …. guess not fucktard.I really think its about time we do this. hindi nadadala pinoy eh tawid nang tawid alam nang mali eh…. mga trycle bigla liko taxi driver bigla overtake jeepney driver hoging the road to much….. yung ibang tao alam nang no crossing sign dahil highway lalo na sa c5 tawid pa putang ina parang bobo lang. ika nga di ka madala sa santong pakiusap dalhin sa santong paspasan. baka matuto

  1. Most stupid idea ever. noli, I believe you could do better than that idea, why not try fixing and advancing the trains and subways first? Purging my ass. Do you not think that your mmda should work better than being so crazy ass lazy by “pabuhos” system that causes more traffic? The hell is wrong with you psycho. Your only thinking less cars less traffic? Purging but not thinking the capacity and danger that it could bring to the “commuters” side? Like. Mag commute tayo kada lunes at byernes, try mo mag hintay ng sasakyan at maglakad ng malayo. Sure, less cars less traffic, but lesser cars could bring the economy down. Lazy ex non existing vice pressident.

    1. Haha to you Sir! Well you can take your rage on the street and shoot all the mmda you will see. Or better yet, kill yourself for being a stupid ass.

    2. subway???in metro manila???really???baka pwedeng half train-half submarine para gumana yung subway system sa metro manila

    3. tama ka bro kaso tayo din ang me fault there doing there best pero masyado tayong nagpapaka …. you know…

  2. Is this true? I mean, is this really seriously suggested by him? If so, i would just like to emphasize– that is the most unimaginable suggestion ever coming from an MMDA official. First, you cannot push people to not use cars to lessen the traffic or the number of cars on the road. Its a necessity, especially in urban areas. Second, how can you possibly just focus on your goal without weighing the probability of great danger ahead. Third, that “purging” you call is not the solution. You just need to discipline filipinos more and advancing road strategies to avoid such traffic or the like. and most importantly, you were assigned to be an official of the road to secure the safety of commuters and everyone travelling. And this suggestion totally is the complete opposite of your main duty as a government official who sworn to protect the citizens of the country.

    1. Yeah, I think you have a point. Why not invent a flying cars instead. Hahaha… Another stupid down here. Maybe we should have ‘The Purge-for Stupid People only’.

  3. M. Lol walking shouldn’t be a problem. Less cars doesn’t mean it will bring down the economy.. Mind you, I am a filipino and I moved here in NZ. People here walks a lot. Even those who are in their 80’s. Walking is good and makakatulong ito for those who needs exercise. I, for one, ayoko maglakad pero kelangan.. kasi malayo ang mga bus stop. Ang problema sa karamihang Pilipino gusto isinusubo lahat. Kelangan din sa sarili naman, gumawa tayo ng makakatulong para sa ikauunlad ng Pilipinas. Simpleng pagtawid nga lang sa tamang tawiran, hirap na hirap ng sundin ng mga tao. Haaaai…

  4. Well, This better be not be real. Otherwise, I’m gonna start doing assassin’s creed for real against law makers like these.

  5. It blows my mind that alot of people really believe what this “Satirical” article says. Makes one wish that this purge thing do push thru so we can eliminate dumb people from this country

  6. Walking is really good, yes that is a fact. but walking in manila? under the heat of the sun with a temp of 33 degrees? seriously??? Dapat lagyan nalang nila ng industrial fans every few meters para mabawasan ng gagamit ng sasakyan at maenganyo maglakad.

  7. This is the coolest that I ever heard so far. Less people, less traffic, less stupidity. If I see you on the road I’ll start with you. Lol!

  8. I just want to say that this idea is very stupid i know that we should encourage people to speak up but sometimes other things like this one shouldn’t be voiced out at all. This gives people ideas.. Bad ideas that they can do anything. If the crime rate would decrease, then at the purge day people are free to kill anyone. Even the innocent. A lot of accidents would occur because you can drive even thought it’s a red light. So, I think if someone would agree to this suggestion. Screw you!

  9. I say push 🙂 …. specially people tumatawid sa road alam namang me overpass and me no walking on a highway sign na 🙂 how stupid ….. so go 🙂 …. purge brooothhha purge sana that day tumawid yung nasa pdaf scam 🙂

  10. Oh my God sir, this article wasn’t even legit in the first place so why take the joke seriously? I see your point there but hey.. live a little. It’s not like we would really want such things to happen, yeah? Relax. xD

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