“I’m really excited about this idea,” said Nobert De Castro, intern-turned-MMDA-Chairman after Atty. Francis Tolentino’s frustrated resignation, “I call it ‘Purge Coding’. It works by repealing all traffic laws for one day and culling the amount of cars on the road. Less cars, less traffic!”
Speaking to a crowd of reporters after being left the only employee who still gave a damn within the MMDA, former intern and now MMDA chair Nobert De Castro has a new idea for improving traffic in the metro.
“You see, my plan is simple, we have way too many cars and drivers on the road. We need to lessen that, but the only way to do that is by reducing the amount of driveable cars and/or capable drivers on the road. My plan is to repeal all the laws of the road for one day and to let people just do their thing.”
“People can drive through red lights, stop in the middle of the road, run over pedestrians, you know, anything. You don’t even have to be in your car. If it suits you, you can exit your vehicle and release your rage by shooting up drivers who’re going too slow.”
“ We predict that by the end of the day, there will be 20% less vehicles on the road, more than enough to solve our current traffic crisis.”
“Of course, we’ll be doing a small trial run in Katipunan first, just to work out the kinks.” He then went on to count the merits of the innovative program, such as its cheapness and simplicity, among others. “I can finally give our MMDA constables some much needed rest. They’ve been worn down from days of standing there in the middle of the street, taking abuse from angry drivers and such. I think they’ll enjoy this project the most. People will have a renewed respect for the rule of law after we roll this plan out.”