Oblation statue remodeled for anatomical accuracy

“I just added a few inches here and there” said the note attached to the statue that was sent to the Vargas Museum yesterday, “I think it’s perfect now.”

An anonymous donor has gifted the University of the Philippines with a remodeled replica of the Oblation, reworked for anatomical accuracy and symmetry. Named The Vitruvian Oblation, after Leonardo Da Vinci’s famous sketch The Vitruvian Man, the 3.33 meters tall statue captures the spirit and form of the original, with several key differences.

The sculptor’s work focused on proportions and the idea of physical perfection, shown by the statue’s scaling of the measurements of the body. The sculptor also added a bit more fine detail to the statue, adding subtle creases and wrinkles to the skin, prompting one art critic to say “It’s the Oblation in HD.”

“Undying frustration of the UP student” Editor’s note: That is the actual title of this junk shot on wikipedia. 

However, what might be the most important – and controversial- change to the statue is the removal of the fig leaf that hid the statue’s member. The Oblation’s penis is now visibly a few inches longer, and somewhat stiffer. The current director of the Vargas Museum, Guillermo Del Torro, has nothing but praise for the sudden rise in girth and length.

“I think we all need to be adults about this and acknowledge that yes, this statue is indeed sporting an erection, but I think it fits with the entire idea of this piece. The original oblation was entirely naked, the addition of the fig leaf was something the administration was forced to add as an act of censorship in the name of “decency.” When we had the Oblation remade, the fig leaf was added in again against our wishes. Now we have a new statue, and I don’t think we can cover this up with just a fig leaf. Maybe a banana leaf, but definitely not a fig leaf.”

 

The statue will be erected in Quezon Hall soon.

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