Following harsh budget cuts made by SANGGU President Jan Ramos, the School of Science and Engineering has had to look elsewhere for funding. Besides weaponizing their students’… Read more “SOSE to seek funding by offering naming rights on Kickstarter”
In a speech delivered to the other members of the UAAP, USC Chairperson Teresa Abril formally submitted the papers to pull the University of the Philippines out of the UAAP.
“This is a historic day not just for UP, but for all of us,’ said incumbent Chairperson Abril to a shocked parliament of student representatives from the eight Universities. She continued with a smirk, ignoring the reality of the impending athletic collapse of her school, saying, “UP has always enjoyed a long and fruitful relationship with the rest of the Manila University-states, but times change, and UP must now do what is best for UP. We do not see this as the end, we see this as a change of terms, a separation, you know, a re-imagining, while we both sort our shit out.”
“UP just needs a break from the other schools of the UAAP. UST is so overbearing, UE is so needy, and (we) don’t like the way ADMU keeps looking at our student ass(ociations)”
UE Representative Karl Asuncion was reported to have teared up, before attempting to raise an objection. He was overruled by Abril, who said “it’s not you, it’s your single-market system, and shifting policies.” Chairperson Abril was referring to UP’s discontent with the “one-to-one” shifting of transferees from other schools, which some in the University see as “under-par” and “not isko material,” which is why some commentators see the UPExit as ideologically-charged and prejudiced. Recent influx of Libertarian transferrees from the Middle Metro colleges has divided the UP community.
Other commentators, such as Political Science major and self-proclaimed-not-prejudiced-student Rudolf Arturo, are downplaying the Libertarian angle of the UpExit. “We need to understand that the UAAP has only made UP uncompetitive. I mean, the last time UP was athletically relevant was… what, the seventies? UP wants to prioritize its own people and its own development beyond the UAAP, maybe invest some of its energy into actually beneficial thing or stuff the UP is already good at, things like competitive speed reading as compared to stuff like Basketball, Soccer, or Athletics in general.”
Beside UE Rep Asuncion’s tearful sobbing, other negative reactions to UPExit include a response from UAAP Superpower UST, another founding member of the UAAP, released a statement via their own rep, Jojo Torres. “We strongly advise UP to reconsider pulling Article 50. The Metro is stronger when its schools are united, and pointless division among us only leaves us open to…. outside threats.”
He then looked to the opposite end of the hall, where DLSU Rep and former DLSU Special Forces Operative Dmitry Mendoza was licking his lips in anticipation for the eventual collapse of Manila, but it could also have been a coincidence.
Besides outside tension, there is also tension within the UP system. UPM has begun talks to secede from the University of the Philippines Diliman’s control and stay with the UAAP. Chairperson Teresa Abril said that UPM can try, but warns that they will send sternly-worded letters if they do.
The Committee for University Security (CUS) has released the first draft of President Ramos’ proposed border wall to the Sanggunians. The plans were released along with a report on student transfers, acceptance rates, as well as crime and dropout statistics for students of Marikenyo descent. The Katipunero was able to get a copy of the Committee’s report, entitled Marikenyos – Bad for the Ateneo, or really bad for the Ateneo?, after passing five FOI requests –of which three were rejected, one was ‘lost,’ and the last was approved but only if we promised not to read it– and one overly-complicated break-in scheme into the CUS chair Stephen Banyo’s office.
President Ramos has signed an executive order suspending all incoming travel from six Libertarian-majority schools for 120 days, while also specifically singling out students from Cubao for an indefinite period. The ban effectively prevents students of these schools from entering Katipunan territory. Students seeking to transfer to the Ateneo have also had their applications rejected. The schools affected are
- STI College Recto – Currently affected by the SomaTI Civil War.
- The University of Manila – Stable, with only 1% of the population that can be defined as “Objectivist,” but has rejected Ramos’ bid to build a “Ramos Dormitory”
- Elizabeth Seton School – President Ramos explained the ban in a tweet, saying”Because Elizabeth Seton believed in radically empowering women, and not in the good way, like they do in Miriam. “
- Far Eastern University – A leaked conversation says that President Ramos said that as a U-Belt school, it was susceptible to Radical Objectivism.
- /6. Xavier and ICA due to the Edsan Civil War. Curiously, LSGH, a DLSU-backed school, is not affected.
President Ramos’s executive order was to be implemented “immediately,” causing chaos in LRT Stations and Jeep stops all over the Katipunan area as OSCI Inquisitors were deployed to screen all incoming traffic for banned students. While the ban is in effect, students from the listed schools will not be allowed past screening and into ADMU territory, regardless of prior approval.
By PONCE TALAVERA
Jan Ramos has officially been inaugurated President of the Sanggunian amidst controversy about his ties to Miriam College and mass protests on his controversial populist policies.
KATIPUNAN- Placing his hand on the Bible and as well as on ACH bestseller “Wat-Pad: A Series of Short Love Stoires,” President Jan Ramos took the solemn oath to become the 45th President of the Sanggunian.
But in spite of him officially becoming the most powerful Student in the Metro, the President is still a controversial figure.
OSCI continues to investigate the President’s alleged ties to Russ-I mean, Miriam, and besides the protests scheduled yesterday and today, his inauguration was also the least attended inauguration of any SANGGU President ever. Period.